March 10th, 2020, 12:59 PM
Somewhere in Idaho
Amazon's personal 12th circle of Hell, WTF8
"#Reports are coming in of a-"
"#TaylorSwift just broke up with-"
What at first seemed like something straight out of a horror movie from the mid nineties soon become a terrifying reality for people around the world. A highly contagious, seemingly nigh incurable pestilence spread across the face of the planet, Seeping into every crevice of society and slowly converting the paranoias and fear in everyone's minds into actuality.
In 2016, Donald Trump became the first Anti-intelligent president, shattering the only thing capable of preventing the U.S. to a 13th Ghost type scenario in which a majority of the population was infected by some mysterious plague.
And then, as if by some horrible late predicting of the apocalypse, in 2020 Justin Bieber bought a face tattoo, which seemed to some as the unlocking of the seventh sign of the Universal "Fuck You" Jackpot.
Coronavirus Designate 10, later referred to as simply #Covid19.
The unraveling of one Trump supporter, whose family lineage had been plagued by inbreeding, broken familial relations, potato fucking, and attempting to bring ears of corn to life by setting their houses on fire, in one stupid domino push, single handedly delivered unto the united States of America, Toilet Paper Fever.
Soon, infection rates skyrocketed, and with the increase of everyone catching the fever to excessively wipe their asses to a glass like shine, came the death's caused by the corona virus itself.
First, Shopping malls shut down.
Followed by public restrooms at major concert events.
Followed by various influencers testing positive for the virus.
Followed soon by the government finally delivering on "Project: Goth Virgin at a rave by themself"
In the ultimate act, they demanded that Quarantine Zones be enforced, that businesses shutter themselves, people stay home, stores close earlier, all in an effort to stem the slimy hand of the Covid19.
Suddenly, dabbing was no longer viewed as an annoying trend, but as a way to stay healthy.
In the ultimate act of stupidity, President Trump, in a flash of rejected at birth brilliance, ordered the dumping of billions of quarters into these Quarantine zones.
Jeff Bezos, leader of the free Amazon, and noted sock wearer, closed all but one staffed location, opting to protect the lives of his most valued employees.
Unfortunately, by valued employees, he did not mean anyone who worked at WTF8, a mysterious FC that defied all explanation. No amount of random hostesses being slapped on the View could explain just why there hadn't been any cases of Covid19 be discovered, nor why all copies of Never Say Never received reports of looking and operating as though it had been left in the microwave for far too long.
To the employees who worked there, it was simply business as usual, until the FBI showed up with papers demanding the HR13 send everyone home.
The FBI became employees five minutes later, and were now permanently staffed at the eight story tall "Tote Inject" building.
"We... We really just hired the forty five plus men and women from the FBI?" A new transfer to the FC asked.
"Yes, they must make rate in 15 minutes or... they'll never go home." The HR13 lead commented with a bored sigh.
"But that-" The new transfer was interrupted by an adorable freakish giggle.
"Unknown to all, we do have infected working here, we just won't tell anyone."
"WHY THE FUCK NOT!?"